Moonfur
Newborn
Send a howl to the Great Ruler of the Night,Father Moon,He protects us.....[ss:Gothic Storm]
Posts: 25
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Moonfur
Dec 7, 2007 23:05:37 GMT -5
Post by Moonfur on Dec 7, 2007 23:05:37 GMT -5
gender:Female Age:3 years Family:dead
Description:Black fur and Blue eyes.She was born with a rare moon-shaped birthmark on her stomach.The moon causes her much pain when she makes bad decsions.
Personality:Very wary of other wolves,but is always playful and perky.When the moon on her under-belly causes her pain,she trusts her instincts and does the oppisite of what she had done before.It has never failed her. Mother and father killed she learned to hunt as a loner.She would prey on small prey at first,such as rabbits.Then she taught herself to hunt larger prey like caribou.She could take on a full grown all by herself.This makes her an excellent hunter.
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Post by Darkness on Dec 8, 2007 8:14:29 GMT -5
Moonfur, this is a semi-lit site, which means you need much more detail here. So, here's my list of things that need to be fixed...
- What is clr? Please, no short forms.
- What is her body type?
- Family?
- Being abandoned isn't much of a history. Why was she abandoned? How did she raise herself?
- Where's her personality?
- Instead of having fur and eye colour, please give a detailed appearance.
Fix those things, and then we'll see.
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Moonfur
Newborn
Send a howl to the Great Ruler of the Night,Father Moon,He protects us.....[ss:Gothic Storm]
Posts: 25
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Moonfur
Dec 8, 2007 10:09:32 GMT -5
Post by Moonfur on Dec 8, 2007 10:09:32 GMT -5
I fixed it.
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Moonfur
Dec 8, 2007 11:02:34 GMT -5
Post by Darkness on Dec 8, 2007 11:02:34 GMT -5
This still could be better, but it is your first bio. I'd reccomend reading some other profiles later. ^^
//Accepted.
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